Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Go Back To Pennsyltuckey, Taylor Swift.

I recognize that all has been fairly quiet on the Taylor Swift front, however, that doesn't change the fact that I truly cannot stand her whether she's currently in the media or not. Sure a couple of her songs are catchy I'll admit, and at the rare times I find myself listening to one of her songs, I usually end up feeling like a traitor.
Most of her songs really are just complete crap. Lyrically that is. Again some of the songs have very catchy beats. But you can say the same thing about Ke$ha.
Did anyone see the movie Valentine's Day? Well if you did, then you know how horrible of an actress TS is. I think that needs to end. She should be banned from the big screen. And the small screen. And the radio. And iTunes. And Pandora. etc...

Looks wise, homegirl needs to eat a sandwich. She's grossly skinny in person.
Also, would it kill her to add some variety to her hair? It's always the same waves/curls every.day. Not to mention the fact that she always has cat-like eyes and a very mousey looking face.

As far as her personality goes, I find her to be extremely immature.  QUIT PUTTING YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS ON BLAST, THIS ISN'T HIGH SCHOOL.  I know it benefits her musically, but there's no reason to name names, she only comes off bratty.  And no matter how nice to she tries to portray herself, I'm just not buying it. AT. ALL. It all just seems so very fake.  She seems like one of those girls who has becomes extremely clicky with whoever her friend of the moment is, and then everything in her life is about that.  She's one of those girls.  And I cannot stand it.

Lastly, the thing I hate most about Taylor Swift is I think she's got my life bugged. There are 3 celebrities I am in love with, I call them The 3 J's. That's John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal and Jason Segel.  So far, Taylor has gotten 2 out of my 3. If this lanky, blond bitch goes anywhere near Jason Segel, there is going to be a massacre in Los Angeles. Don't think I'm joking, because I'm not.

She should have never been allowed to leave Pennsylvania in the first place.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I've been super busy planning my move to sunny California, so I forgot to post this on Sunday night.....HAHAHAHAHAHA, IN YOUR FACE NEW ENGLAND!!!!

****fingers crossed for Sunday's game against the Steelers***

Thursday, January 13, 2011

"TBS,Very Funny." Oh Really? So Why Are You Playing 'According To Jim'?

This post would most likely make for a better tweet because I think the title gets my point across just fine, but this is a blog and I really should write 140 characters or more.
SOOO that being said....how the hell is According to Jim still in syndication and on TBS of all places??? AND how did that show stay running from 2001 until 2009? This country doesn't know comedy. Unless keeping that show on the air is our idea of a funny joke, in which case, America, you have a sick sick sense of humor.
Never once in my life have I ever heard one person talk about how much they love According To Jim and how hilarious it is. You know why? Because the show fucking sucks and isn't even funny a little bit. 
Trust me, I'm one of those people who you can sit down in front of a TV and literally put almost anything on (as long as it isn't reality TV or Fox News) and I'll be fine, but I have never once been able to make it through one full episode of According To Jim.

A few reasons why the show isn't funny:
1. Andy Richter
2. Jim Belushi
3.Courtney Thorne-Smith...she needs to go back to either Ally McBeal or Melrose Place and stay there.
(Ally McBeal and Melrose Place are off the air??? EXACTLY.)

I really don't think I need to say any more....my point's been proven and I don't want to waste any more of my time talking about something so idiotic.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Why The Hell Would Anyone Promote Lindsay Lohan Driving???

Being the celebrity gossip junkie that I am (their lives are just more interesting), I stumbled upon this post and can't    help but wonder if this service shop never got wind of this little incident?
Who in their right mind would think that giving Lindsay Lohan an expensive as hell car to "borrow" is a good idea? Do they also not know about her fun car ride down the PCH?
It really blows my mind why anyone would loan her a car, let alone one that is so rare and expensive, with her driving track record.  Is it because they hate babies?  Or because they hate nannies? Or is because they need the publicity and the settlement money they'll get when Lindsay inevitably fucks up their Range Rover while running over every visitor on The Venice Beach Boardwalk on her way home? I guess we'll find out soon enough...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

BlackBerry CrackBerry PieceOfCrapBerry

Let's see, where do I begin???
It all started when Verizon gave me the option for an early phone upgrade about a year and a half ago. Being the genius that I am, I decided to go with the overpriced BlackBerry Storm....which ended up going back 5 times due to all kinds of awesome defects. By time #6, I was given the option of a brand new phone, so I chose the BlackBerry Tour. Again, I'm a genius.

I'm on Tour #9 now, and there isn't shit I can do about it until my plan runs out and I either can get the iPhone on Verizon (assuming that ever becomes an option), or switch to AT&T (take that VZW!)

Now I don't want to sound like I completely hate BlackBerry, cause I don't. In fact, there is one thing, and one thing only, that I am scared to live without...and that is BlackBerry Messenger. BBM is like this little exclusive club with barcodes and groups and PINS for only my friends and I and I adore it.
What I don't adore is my phone needing to be charged about 7 times a day, my SMS/MMS/BBM/phone calls all going off to tones that I didn't set, the phone freezing CONSTANTLY, the trackball failing to do it's one designated job of rolling, recorded videos magically not being supported even though they were recorded from this device, and my personal favorite is that sometimes my phone gets an error message when it's on the charger telling me that the device I'm using to charge the phone is the wrong one...it's the fucking charger that came with the phone, if any charger is perfect for it, it's that one!
Now, I can't tell for sure if it's Verizon Wireless being shitty with the phones they supply to their customers or if BlackBerry just puts out an absolutely horrendous product. I know people who have BlackBerries on AT&T, Sprint and T-Mobile who haven't experienced nearly as many issues as I have.
Which leads me to believe that it's all Verizon Wireless's fault.
I was so excited when I first joined the CrackBerry Cult, I thought it was going to be the best 2 year contract phone experience of my life, but I was greatly disappointed. This phone is nothing like crack to me, in fact it's more like methadone. By the time my plan runs out, I'll never want a BlackBerry again, I won't even want to look at a BlackBerry, or be around people who are still using BlackBerry.
So, with all this said....here is an Amazon ad for the iPhone 4 because I'm so ironic like that.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Why Does My Jetta Smell Like The Crayola Factory?

The title of this post pretty much says all I want to say. Or rather, question.  I have had (and am now selling for unfortunate reasons, which I will definitely be posting about in the near future) my 2001 Jetta -named Oceanic- for almost 3 years now, and since day 1, it has always absolutely reeked of crayons. So I've been pretty much driving a Crayola box on wheels for the past few years. Fun stuff.

I love my car, but have never, for the life of me, ever been able to figure out what the hell is going on in it that's making it smell the way it does.
I've Febreezed and Axed the shit out of that thing, Windexed the seats, and sprayed copious amounts of expensive perfumes...yet the stench is relentless.
I know of other people with Jettas from the same year experiencing similar problems, but I gotta wonder what the fuck Volkswagen is making their cars out of that they smell like crayons.  Is the leather really "leather" that's made out of the broken pieces of crayons from the bottom of the pack? Or is Volkswagen in some kind of cruel deal with with Crayola? 

I'd really love to know the answer to this because, like I mentioned earlier, I'm currently in the process of selling my car.  As if it isn't difficult enough to sell a car, especially in this economy, I'm so thrilled that I get to add "comes with authentic crayon scent" to my Craigslist post. Kelley Blue Book doesn't have a box to check off on their site for this, so I can only assume it's adding major value to my car. 
I simply cannot wait for the next set of people who come to test drive Oceanic and ask me what's up with the smell.  It truly is exciting to attempt to explain because when I say, "Evidently a lot of the Jettas from '01 came crayon scented, compliments of Volkswagen," it always sounds like it's really because of something I did. And then I get questioned further as they launch an investigation to the truth behind the smell of my car. Like I'm just making an excuse for some horrid crayon incident that occurred in my car and I'm concealing it from my prospective buyers.
I'm not sure what said prospective buyers are thinking when I talk to them about the smell, nor am I sure what any of my past passengers from the few years I've been fortunate enough to have Oceanic have really thought about the crayon scent's existence. Of course, I'm sure it never helped that I've always kept crayons in my car just to throw some extra confusion into the mix.
But I just want it to go on record that I did NOT have anything to do with my Jetta and it's waxy Crayola smell. It was aaaallll Volkswagen and their evil ways.

So, thank you Volkswagen, for making my life just that much more difficult, turning my car into a running (and now sad) joke and for forever ruining my love of crayons. In some way, I feel you've stolen a little piece of my childhood; the smell of a fresh pack of crayons is no longer associated with coloring books and a carefree life as it had been for so long. Now one whiff of crayons has the ability to make me cry (I'll explain in another post) or feel nauseous because of that one time I got sick in the back seat of my car from drinking too much alcohol after a long night in NYC and all I could smell was crayons.

Way to go, VW, way. to go.

And Here We Go...

First post on my first blog ever. YAY.

Okay, so I've decided to start this blog for a couple reasons.
This is going to keep me busy when I can't sleep, when I'm bored (which will be more often than anyone should ever have to experience and I will dedicate an entire post-at the very least- as to why in the future), and as an outlet for my bitching, raving and general opinions.

Some things you can expect here:
1. Me complaining about New Jersey.
2. Rants about things that piss me off.
3. A lot of posts about why I hate Taylor Swift.
4. At least one post that questions why According To Jim is in syndication.
5. Music discussion.
6. Lots of random comments about Lost, the NY Jets and The Disney Channel.

Now that I've gotten the introduction of my blog out of the way, I'd like to make it known that I just had the most difficult time coming up with a URL for this page, not to mention the half hour it took for me to come up with the title. Yes, it took me that long to come up with the idea to put my damn name as the URL. That's the kind of person I am. (Granted it's 6am and Ive been awake since 3am which means I'm running on about 3.5 hours of sleep). Enjoy.